27.05.2021
Time to tackle stigma of domestic abuse – Churches called to action
Conversations about Mission by Dublin and Glendalough Council for Mission
Churches can help break the silence around domestic abuse and coercive control and transform their local communities for those experiencing abuse. This was one of the key messages from the first of a series of Conversations about Mission organised by Dublin and Glendalough Council for Mission.
Participants in this first online event were addressed by Jacqui Armstrong, Faith and Policy Coordinator with Mothers’ Union, and Kelley Bermingham, Community Officer with St Patrick’s Cathedral, Dublin. If you missed them, their contributions will be available to view online shortly.
Jacqui Armstrong highlighted global statistics around gender based violence which find that one in three women worldwide have experienced domestic or sexual abuse. In Ireland, she said, one in five women and one in seven men experience abuse. “We as a church can work to become a place of safety and support. We can be around that table tackling unjust structures,” she stated adding that in Ireland and Britain churches rarely spoke about domestic abuse and sermons rarely addressed the issue.
During Covid, Mothers’ Union has been working in the background and on the ground to provide support to those experiencing abuse. Support continues for projects in Uganda, Myanmar and DR Congo. In Ireland, Mothers’ Union members have been reaching out to local refuges. MU is currently lobbying politicians to raise awareness of the fact that when women and children leave home they effectively become homeless. They hope to support churches to take action and are partnering with Bishops’ Appeal and Tearfund to create a strategy.
“There is a need for action. It doesn’t have to be big – small can be effective. A simple support is to place a poster with details about the nearest refuge on the notice board in your church. Knowledge is understanding so it is important to keep up to date with issues surrounding domestic abuse,” she explained. Jacqui added that the Mothers’ Union ‘Souls of our Shoes’ exhibition is available on loan to any parish or community group and tells the stories of people who have experienced domestic abuse.
Kelley Bermingham spoke about CRiTiCall, an organisation which was set up in June 2020 to support people emerging from domestic violence by offering practical resources along with comfort and encouragement. Kelley is the Community Officer with St Patrick’s Cathedral and also works with the Iveagh Trust. At the beginning of lockdown she was working from home and began to think about how she could reach out to the community from home. She teamed up with Edwina Dewart of Dublin City Volunteer Centre and connected with Safe Ireland to come up with Community Response Team Call – or CriTiCall.
They recognised that people leaving the family home due to domestic violence were rendered homeless. During Covid refuges have had to shrink their services and they came up with a number of initiatives: they appealed to people to offer their second homes to those fleeing their own homes; they supply home starter packs and household essentials to those who need it; and they asked people to write letters of support with hundreds of letters arriving from around the world giving hope to those starting on their new journey.
Now there is a CriTiCall distribution hub on Cork Street and Celbridge Parish, where Kelley lives, also provides a space from which to distribute their packs and hampers. A team of volunteers helps pack up and manage the donations and Kelley paid tribute to An Garda Síochána for their support with distribution. The project has corporate support and also receives donations from far and wide.
Kelley issued participants with a challenge asking them to consider what one action they could take to support societal change in relation to the experience of domestic abuse. She said support was important but reminded people to ring 999 or 112 if they were in danger. “Don’t be afraid to make the call because there is nothing worse than silence around this,” she said, adding that the Safe Ireland website has a list of support services for men and women. She said it was very important to know where to refer someone to if they make a disclosure.
Participants said it was very difficult to engage with their local public representatives on the issue and Kelley recommended that parishes seek to join their local Public Participation Networks. This network allows local authorities connect with community groups around the country. Community groups register to join the PPN in their local authority area and can have a say in local government decisions which affect their communities. (https://www.gov.ie/en/policy-information/b59ee9-community-network-groups/)
During the conversation on the topic a number of actions that parishes could take were suggested:
· Break the silence – ask your parish to help remove the stigma and silence around coercive control and domestic abuse.
· Put information about where to get help, including local refuges, on church notice boards.
· Use Mothers’ Union resources to start the conversation.
· Consider including the issue of domestic abuse in sermons and prayers. Invite a guest speaker.
· Equip people in the parish to respond.
· Put a collection box for your local refuge in church (find out what the refuge needs first).
· Get training – learn about the issues surrounding domestic abuse.
· Learn to listen.
· Tackle the guilt and shame.
· Provide information for children and young people about healthy relationships.
The next Conversation about Mission is entitled ‘Invisible Pain– how to reach those experiencing grief during Covid–19’. It will feature the Revd Lesley Robinson of the Dublin Bereavement Group and takes place on June 16 on Zoom.
