26.05.2025
Change the World One Conversation at a Time – Dialogue of Friendship Conference
“Don’t try to change the world, change your circle of influence.” This was the key message from Dr Ebun Joseph who spoke as part of the Dialogue of Friendship: Listening Well to Build Communities conference in Dundrum Methodist Church on Saturday May 17. Dr Joseph urged participants to tackle racism and injustice one conversation at a time through conversations with friends, family, parishes and social circles.
“Conflict about racism is becoming more frequent and more polarised… It can be overwhelming [to think about how we change society’s attitude] but in your circle of influence, you are safe. The more individuals are changed, the more the world is changed. So when you change your circle of influence, you can ultimately change the world,” she stated.
This year’s Dialogue of Friendship event drew 40 participants from a range of faith backgrounds, all with a shared interest in interfaith and intercultural dialogue. The conference is organised by the Church of Ireland Interfaith Working Group and the Sanctuary in Faith stream of Places of Sanctuary Ireland. Both dialogue and friendship were evident throughout the day with participants engaging enthusiastically in the question and answers sessions. Over the break time and lunch hour there was an energetic buzz of conversation as attendees connected with one another and with the speakers and presenters.
The event was introduced by the Revd Abigail Sines of Sanctuary of Faith while the Revd Stephen Taylor of Dundrum Methodist Church welcomed participants.
Setting the stage for dialogue, Archbishop Michael Jackson noted the “pulsating and exciting diversity and difference” that is alive in Irish society today adding that a previous generation would marvel at the range of people any of us meets each day.
“There is a suppurating underbelly to this, however, the emerging and embedding of a form of racism which is physical and also virtual. This is an ebbtide that sucks so much of the good out of the efforts of those who seek to be accommodating, welcoming and responsive. It erodes trust, capacity and contribution,” he stated.
The Archbishop said that the theme of ‘listening well’ captured the urgency to dig down into the self–understanding of communities and to focus the human curiosity on what is good. “Churches and communities are often uneasy partners. Proactive friendship, such as is engendered and energized by a conference like today’s conference, is essential to closing the gap of comprehension in order to close the gap of fear, suspicion and rejection,” he said.
He also stated that the work of the Northern Ireland Interfaith Forum and Holocaust Education Ireland, both of which were presenting at the conference, was important because of the rise of anti–Semitism and Islamophobia.
From Fear to Friendship
In her keynote address Dr Joseph took the theme ‘From Fear to Friendship: Cultivating Acceptance, One Conversation at a Time’. The diversity and race relations consultant and Special Rapporteur to the National Action Plan Against Racism, spoke about the need to break down fear and division in society. “Fear is a powerful tool and many times it saves us… Far right groups use emotional narratives to create fear,” she said. “Fear means we can’t see clearly. It creates panic and division.”
She suggested that this is not just online noise. Fear shapes policies – she cited the 2004 Citizenship referendum in which migrant women were framed as ‘citizenship tourists’ and misinformation led to policy change. It also shapes protest and public opinion. But behind the narrative are real people who are impacted by the spread of misinformation and mistrust, she said. Black males in particular are at risk, even if they are born in Ireland. She said the stories about unvetted males and people coming to Ireland to take ‘our jobs’ are dog whistles which trigger real danger for ethnic minorities.
Dr Joseph added that when we hear false narratives and say nothing to contradict them, we are complicit. “It is not good enough to be a non–racist. You must be an anti–racist. If you see a rape and don’t say anything, you are complicit in that rape. It is the same for racism,” she explained.
Dr Joseph emphasised the importance of listening well as encouraged in James 1: 19 which cautions people to be quick to listen and slow to speak. She also urged people to move beyond belonging, or passive inclusion, to acceptance. She said belonging is passive but acceptance means that someone must let you in and that is active.
“You cannot belong before you are accepted. When you want me to belong, that is my problem. But when you ask ‘How can I be more accepting of Ebun?’ that is putting the responsibility on yourself,” she explained. “Racism is a shaming experience. We ask ‘What is it about me that makes people think this about me?’ So acceptance is active. Let’s ask ‘What am I doing to accept people who are different from me?’ ‘Am I tolerating?’ No one asks to be tolerated. We should accept difference. Accept that this is a true representation of me. You don’t have to like it. But don’t judge it. I didn’t have any part in being born black just as you didn’t have any part in being born white.”
The far right thrives on fear and targets migrants and people who are vulnerable, she said. She urged people to counter their lies with empathy and courage. “The myth of the unvetted man isn’t based on evidence but it causes harm to all men who are different. The myth of people taking our jobs creates panic and results in hate speech and violence. It endangers people who are different. We have a shared humanity. When we look at what we have in common not what is different, this is what helps us to grow. I am not saying that difference should not be celebrated or that it should be ignored,” she commented. She pointed to the Dublin riots as an example of what hate can do.
What can faith communities do?
Faith communities can model love and justice, Dr Joseph said. They can foster dialogue and inclusion and follow the example of the Good Samaritan. She asked churches to create a space where everybody feels safe and where dialogue can take place. “Faith is not just what we believe, it is how we behave,” she stated. She suggested that churches should be first to adopt the National Action Plan Against Racism.
Individuals and church communities can start conversations, they can interrupt disinformation, they can listen and speak up for the vulnerable, they can support inclusive policies. “Let’s listen with humanity and willingness to learn. Moving from fear to friendship begins with courage. We must make space for others and ask ‘Who have I listened to?’ and ‘Who have I not heard?’ What is the one action I can take in my community?’ ‘Who is missing from the room and how can I include them the next time?’,” she concluded.
Panel Discussions
The first of the panel discussions featured Gideon Yutzy and Kent Chadwick of the Waterford Conversation Club whose members from different nationalities meet regularly for conversation and food. It provides opportunities for people from the locality who would not normally come into contact with each other to get together and understand each other. Gideon and Kent said this helped build community, cohesion and acceptance. In the digital age, sitting around and talking face to face could be considered to be counter cultural and radical, they said. The group had trained participants to listen more attentively and actively to the views of others.
Pastor Hudson Kaunda and Medahan Weldegabir of All Nations Ministries, Belfast described the work of the Christian charity which supports local people, migrants, refugees and asylum seekers in North Belfast. They reach out to the vulnerable through a variety of projects including providing household items and clothing; courses in English, life in the UK, sewing, driving theory and IT; an allotment; and providing upcycled bikes to newcomers and locals. Through their work they make Christ known to those who they serve. They explained that for newcomers arriving in Belfast as refugees or asylum seekers, it is a culture shock and All Nations Ministries helps to support newcomers as they adapt. They said it was important to accept people and treat them with love.
The Northern Ireland Interfaith Forum promotes cooperation and understanding among different religious and ethnic groups in Northern Ireland. Ed Peterson and Edwin Graham spoke about their activities in recent years which includes the Peace Plus Programme. This focuses on education, climate action, and peace and reconciliation. They spoke about the importance of bringing what is happening in Northern Ireland to the attention of the government and added that the Irish Department of Foreign Affairs had been supportive in relation to the sectarian divide and was making an effort to include interfaith matters in its portfolio.
Lynn Jackson spoke about the work of Holocaust Education Ireland which promotes Holocaust education, awareness and remembrance. The first Holocaust Memorial Day in Ireland took place in 2003 and it takes place on January 27 each year. Holocaust education followed on from this leading to resources for teachers and schools. Two years ago 40,000 children in Ireland planted crocuses for Holocaust Memorial Day. Ms Jackson said that these are very difficult times for Jewish people worldwide, many of whom are horrified by what is happening in the Israel–Gaza conflict which she described as heartbreaking. Within this highly charged context, Jewish people on the receiving end of abuse are terrified and she feared much of the good work in Holocaust education could be lost.
Closing Reflections
Reflecting on the day Dr Lucy Michael of the Archbishop of Armagh’s Reference Group on Racial Equality and Justice noted that shared humanity was a common theme amongst all the speakers. “The word dialogue has perhaps been undermined by those who want to undermine other people’s human rights,” she commented emphasising the power of connection and having the courage to stand with those who were on the receiving end of racism.
In her concluding remarks, the Revd Suzanne Cousins of the Interfaith Working Group said there had been much food for thought during the day. She thanked everyone for engaging in the dialogue of friendship. She said that there was a call for all to hear, in keeping with the Christian tradition, of being willing to stand between another and harm. She thanked Dundrum Methodist for hosting the event and the caterer, M&H Kitchen, a women–led business established by Leina Ibnouf.